so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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