No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
