Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
