the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
