so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's official drugs can't kill me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
