i just wanna soil my oats bro
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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