In the future we'll all be gay
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
