Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
