party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?