Your face is a jimmy john
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
