dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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