I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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