Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.

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  (651): dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression. http://tfl.nu/b05v
  Replies (20) Good night (742) Bad night (2627)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars

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  (678): I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars http://tfl.nu/m106
  Replies (23) Good night (4576) Bad night (638)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.

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  (503): At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit. http://tfl.nu/01u9
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (3709)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?

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  (704): I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this? http://tfl.nu/q6uf
  Replies (44) Good night (6515) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients

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  (806): Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients http://tfl.nu/si73
  Replies (4) Good night (691) Bad night (2904)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix

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  (651): dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw (651): by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix http://tfl.nu/95z8
  Replies (17) Good night (1459) Bad night (4374)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.

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  (413): I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date. (215): You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds. http://tfl.nu/2p7v
  Replies (38) Good night (6081) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever

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  (434): The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/goyi
  Replies (22) Good night (7837) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?

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  (540): What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless? http://tfl.nu/wpih
  Replies (24) Good night (1363) Bad night (4047)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this

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  (406): I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this http://tfl.nu/2qka
  Replies (2) Good night (1500) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles

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  (631): You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles http://tfl.nu/nfjp
  Replies (12) Good night (2661) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked

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  (574): all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked http://tfl.nu/pht3
  Replies (8) Good night (2633) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything

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  (781): Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe (617): Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything http://tfl.nu/wlv3
  Replies (12) Good night (2170) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff

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  (361): I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff http://tfl.nu/5gl3
  Replies (10) Good night (1342) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.

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  (850): Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles. http://tfl.nu/5t8w
  Replies (4) Good night (486) Bad night (455)

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