I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.