We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
