Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
