im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
