i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
