Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
