haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
