hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
