Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize