He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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