Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I deserve this hangover.
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