I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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