All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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