what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
