He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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