The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
