someone get that fucking seahorse.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
