He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
