he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
