I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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