I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
