He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
