then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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