Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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