I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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