somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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