You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
