you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
smell my finger.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize