My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
