wakey wakey hands off snakey
Apparently you make a good broom.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
