and you said cock pushups were impossible
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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