can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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