The maid of honor just puked.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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