ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
