You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
