seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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