I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
