he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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