we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
