I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
