listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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