i may or may not be watching the land before time
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
