He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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