Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
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You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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