ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
