she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
