i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
